A black supremacist by the name of Marquis DeShawn is angry that his palms, and the bottoms of his feet, are white.
“We blacks are SUPERIOR to the whole white devil race”, DeShawn wrote on his controversial blog. “But it sickens me to know that, even as my people fight against this White cancer, there is whiteness on our own bodies that has gotta be cleansed!”
DeShawn is referring to the fact that people with black skin nonetheless have white palms—an evolutionary fact caused by the lack of melanin-producing cells called “melanocytes” in those regions of the body, which also include the soles of their feet.
“How can we—my black brothas and sistas—attack the white man when the very hands we use to strike him are colored like him?!”
According to Marquis’ blog (which he ironically hosts on Tumblr—a white-owned website), he is a “pro-black activist” fighting for “Africa Pride and black-skin consciousness.”
In order to remain fair and balanced, Red Pill Philosophy reached out to an equally-misguided yet opposing group—the Ku Klux Klan—to get their take on DeShawn’s crisis.
“It’s ‘cuz the black man wishes he could be like the white man,” says current Grand Dragon of the Alabama chapter of the KKK. “Deep down, all he wants is to be like the superior race. His palms are white because all he can do is steal the white man’s stuff, and the soles of his feet are white because all he can do is run from the White Man when the cops a’come chasin’!”
The Grand Dragon refused to comment on allegations of incest and inbreeding within his chapter.
Back on his blog, Marquis DeShawn further elaborated on his dilemma, “Every time we shout ‘Black Power’, our words is betrayed by the whiteness on us. Every time we raise a fist for Africa Pride, we expose the white underside of our hands. And every time we march for justice, we raise our whitened feet for the world to see. Fam—how can we condemn this White Devil, when the hands and feet we use to mobilize are just as white as his!?”
We reached out to Marquis for an interview, but he refused to be part of this satirical story.