DISCLAIMER FOR THE PERPETUALLY BUTTHURT: I am not saying that fat people should only date fat people, or black people should only date black people, etc. I am not saying that. The question is: are some members of the #FatAcceptance movement simply trying to convince others “big is beautiful” so they can increase their chances of dating thin, fitter men that otherwise wouldn’t date them under the mainstream perception that fat is “unattractive”? END DISCLAIMER.
I’m all for people loving themselves, but what happens when obese people advocate for #FatAcceptance as a means of increasing their sexual value in the dating world so they can date thinner, fitter people?
Think about it: if #FatAcceptance (mostly women) keeps telling me “big is beautiful”, then why not put your meme where your mouth is and prove that by actually dating fat men?
Or is big only beautiful when we’re talking about a 300-pound female feminist?
The only reason I’m asking this question is because I’ve noticed an unsettling trend among the #FatAcceptance crowd (mostly women), as well as plus-sized models (mostly women): they seem to consistently date thin men.
And to prove that, here are a few examples I’ve come across by chance:
1) Tess Holliday:
The irony with plus-sized model Tess Holliday is epitomized by her past statements on beauty and looks. She’s said:
“…I want to challenge society’s perception of ‘beauty’ and what’s acceptable in our industry and the world. There is no one way to be a woman, or to be beautiful. We all deserve a place.”
It is interesting that she wants to “challenge society’s perception of ‘beauty'”, yet is engaged to a stereotypically-attractive thin white male:
Yeah, Tess, way to “challenge society’s perceptions of beauty”. What began as a #FatAcceptance movement to embrace all body sizes, seems to have morphed into a ploy to convince thin, fit, stereotypically-attractive men to date obese women who apparently think “big is so beautiful” that they refuse to date other gluttons.
Okay, again, I’m still speculating, and as overweight feminist Lindy West told me the other day on Twitter:
yeah, bro, that’s because grown-ups see their partners as human beings and fall in love with people, not bodies. https://t.co/cUWvtpttTn
— Lindy West (@thelindywest) September 12, 2015
Is it possible that it’s just a giant coincidence that I keep seeing #FatAcceptance advocates/plus-sized models dating thin, fitter men? And that maybe the only reason women like Tess Holliday are dating stereotypically-attractive thin fit men is because she just loves him for what’s on the inside? Maybe. Lindy West’s above tweet was in response to my Tweet:
2) Lindy West
As you can see in the above picture, Lindy West is another fat woman dating a reasonably fit man, all the while fighting for #FatAcceptance.
Is this proof that she’s a hypocrite? Not conclusively, but it again begs the question: if Lindy West wants people to be so accepting of fat people, would she be this accepting of fat men? In theory, she’d probably say “yes”, but actions speak louder than words. Would she date—let alone marry—a fat man?
Lindy actually responded to this question when I asked her:
— Lindy West (@thelindywest) September 12, 2015
Here is the Tweet she linked to, which she provided as “proof” she finds overweight men attractive:
Also my “swoon” over John Goodman was legit and if you’re reading this, John, I AIN’T MARRIED YET. — Lindy West (@thelindywest) November 8, 2014
This is who “John Goodman” is:
But is this a fair comparison? The fundamental point I’m making in this article is that we all have “superficial” standards through which we judge and value other people.
Whether it’s a woman’s weight or a man’s bank account, or a woman’s face or a man’s charisma—we all have standards through which we determine whether or not a person is valuable, and thus worth dating, fucking, or marrying.
Caring about a woman’s weight isn’t patriarchal oppression—it’s just another standard, so when Lindy West cites John Goodman as proof she’s open to dating/marrying fat people, well, there’s a difference because John is also famous, rich, and funny—three qualities that men are expected to adopt that women find attractive.
Having a crush on a famous, wealthy, and funny man isn’t really the greatest proof that you’ve abandoned superficial standards of judgement, Lindy…
3) Whitney Thore
This case is particularly telling. Again, every single example (except for Tess Holliday) I’ve shown you so far I have come across by sheer chance, meaning this is all either a big coincidence, or popular plus-sized models tend to date thin men.
I was scrolling through my Facebook today and came across this Facebook post:
Notice the caption of the post, which includes a direct quote from Whitney Thore, the plus-sized star and #FatAcceptance advocate of TLC’s new reality show. In response to the news that she just started dating someone, Whitney said “He’s hot and I’m heavy.”
And so who’s the lucky guy?
Hmm, Whitney’s new man looks surprisingly similar to Tess Holliday’s fiance. Maybe overweight women have a thing for white, bearded men?
Anyways, notice the irony of her statement, which although she said it jokingly, nonetheless hints to the point I’m trying to make in this article. Whitney said, “he’s hot and I’m heavy.”
That right there highlights the glaringly obvious double-standard of a #FatAcceptance advocate openly dating a thin guy that she thinks is “hot” in comparison to her being “heavy”.
Whether or not she was being serious in her quote, she is nonetheless another example of a female #FatAcceptance advocate and/or plus-sized model preferring to date men who are thin and fit (at least in comparison to her).
All of this is disturbing because it could prove—through the actions of these women—that fat is, indeed, not very beautiful, otherwise they wouldn’t consistently choose to date men who are thin, fit, and—in Tess’ case:—stereotypically attractive a la Brad Pitt.
Could it be that these women do not actually think “big is beautiful”, but that in reality they’re simply trying to skew the dating marketplace in their favor by brainwashing people into thinking the glaringly obvious bad habit of over-consumption is actually acceptable, attractive, and even “healthy at every size”?
And worst of all: could it be they are such obvious hypocrites that they consistently choose to date/marry men who are reasonably thin and fit because they personally think big is disgusting?
Although I can’t read minds, actions do speak louder than words…
I don’t care who dates who: if a fat woman can hook a thin, sexy guy, go for it! I don’t care. But what I do care about is self-interested people (mostly obese women, in this case) brainwashing the public into believing big is beautiful—just as long as the guy they’re dating/married to isn’t big.
This really exemplifies the double-standard of #FatAcceptance.
Intuitively, although I don’t yet have conclusive proof, I believe #FatAcceptance isn’t about “protecting victims of bullying”, but instead about ensuring that obese, decadent women continue to get even more of what they want.
As if eating tons of tasty, high-caloric food while barely moving wasn’t enough, these decadent damsels also want to date thin, fit men who have self-control over their eating habits.
They literally…want to have their cake and eat it too…